Chuck Norris Can Reach a Conclusion without Any Evidence

Turns out, there are more facts about Chuck Norris than his ability to slam a revolving door or win a game of Connect Four in only three moves or touch MC Hammer. He’s now capable of making Glenn Beck look sane.

In a column for World Net Daily, Norris strings together conspiracy theory after conspiracy to speculate as to why President Obama signed an executive order granting certain immunities to INTERPOL. You know, the same immunities granted to all international organizations under the International Organizations Immunities Act that serve to protect foreign nations from having their classified records and data searched and seized by the US government. The same immunities that even Fox News panelists described as “benign”.

But let’s see what Chuck has to say:

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that New York is the feds’ city of choice to place 9/11 terrorists on trial in federal court?

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that, if for any reason the White House can’t give terrorist detainees U.S. constitutional privileges by being tried in civilian courts, they now have the close proximity of Interpol archives that are exempt from American legal or investigative discovery? …

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that the feds want to try these 9/11 terrorists in civilian courts rather than military courts, and undoubtedly don’t want to lose the cases in public opinion by the dissemination of the trials’ details and evidence?

I’m not quite sure I follow, Chuck. It sounds like you’re criticizing Obama for trying terrorists in civilian courts rather than military courts, and then you speculate that he plans to use INTERPOL to keep details and evidence from these trials away from the public. That’s odd, since “civilian trials must be open to the public, while military tribunals can be held in secret”. But do go on.

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that the following events are converging at this time in America’s history: the U.S. withdrawal from Iraq, the closure of Guantanamo Bay terrorist detention facility, Obama’s indifference and even defense of Islamic extremists like the Fort Hood shooter or Northwest flight 253’s attempted bomber, the feds’ decision to conduct jihadists trials in New York and the search and seizure exemption of Interpol in New York and throughout the U.S.?

You mind providing a link to these claims that Obama has defended “Islamic extremists like the Fort Hood shooter or Northwest flight 253’s attempted bomber”? I guess Chuck Norris doesn’t need to click on a link to get to a website. He just stares at the computer screen and the website comes to him.

I have no doubt that Interpol will become Obama’s secret vault for terrorists’ criminal records and evidence – and whatever else he and his Cabinet want to place in there.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to hide things in a secret vault. They hide themselves because they fear Chuck Norris.

This is just the beginning of what Washington can and will do with this executive order that Obama signed. And it’s just one more example of the way your federal government has got the backs of those who are attacking our country, abandoning our Constitution and dissolving America’s sovereignty.

Chuck Norris has got the backs of those who are attacking our country … by giving them a roundhouse kick.

In the end, there appears to be one true advantage for the president’s executive order to exempt Interpol from search and seizure: There will always be a safe and tamper-proof place where Obama can store his original, long-form birth certificate.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to see proof of birth. Chuck Norris simply decides who is allowed to be born and where.